In our never ending quest to provide all of our readers with relatable, ‘slice of life’ style content, we here at the SoBros Network feel the time to weigh in on social commentary has officially come. It’s once again time for me, Big Natural, to open up the leather-bound parchment pages of the annals of history. Put on your plush robe, light your pipe, start a fire, and get ready for deep contemplation. This is the as-often-as-I-remember-to-write-it column: Forgotten Treasures of Americana. Today, we are going to be looking back at what was perhaps once the most popular form of expression at a live event…foam fingers.
There are plenty of things I miss about the 1990s. Those were my golden years…wait…aren’t ‘golden years’ actually your retirement years? I don’t know. I could be getting that super twisted. My point is that I look back on the 90s fondly as the prime of my life. And, if I’m digging into specifics, I hark back to the visual of a jam-packed arena on a Monday night as the then-WWF kicked off Monday Night Raw. Everyone brought a sign. People had foam fingers waving rigorously in the air. They saturated my television screen.
It was the perfect way to express oneself. All you had to do was buy one – they came in all different shapes and size, and you could support a myriad of wrestlers. Whoever your favorite was, chances are back in those days, they had a foam finger. You didn’t have to go through the effort of creating a sign and waving it (though making signs for wrestling shows as a kid was hella fun). And, they made for some extraordinary collectibles all these years later, whereas mom and dad would just throw away the signs you made for an event on poster board whenever you got home. Those were the days, man – now, if you go to an event, you never see any of that stuff anymore. Maybe it’s a fan enjoyment measure…people can’t obscure your view with a sign if no signs are allowed, I guess. But, it takes a lot of the fun out of the event. That’s my issue – either events, security, or attendees are just plain no fun anymore.
Foam fingers could be the key to getting that back. Think about it – they don’t pose a security threat. They’re not just a gigantic sheet of poster board so they shouldn’t be obstructing views. And, they get people hype as hell, creating a better fan experience in the process. Where did we go astray? Where did we depart from the foam finger?
Bring back foam fingers at events. pic.twitter.com/HLjRo2L16N
— Danger Zone Video (@dangerzonevideo) March 14, 2023
Yes, that tweet is from nearly two months ago. Yes, that is how long the idea for this next installment of Forgotten Treasures of Americana has just been sitting in my head. None of that matters anymore. We’re here and we’re talking about foam fingers, baby!
Just look at that collection of foam fingers – sure…maybe there’s some cultural appropriation going on with that Tatanka one, but shit, we didn’t even know what that meant in the 1990s. It was just a different time. Probably wouldn’t be swinging that one around today, but for the sake of this conversation, we can leave that one alone for now.
Let’s talk about a giant foam middle finger that says ‘Austin 3:16’ on it. It would’ve been weird for me to have a job in 1998 as I was only 12 years old. But, I kind of wish I had a job back then just so I could walk into work one day waving that thing at my boss and then walking out on everyone there. Hell, if I can find one of those things here in 2023, I might do the same thing as a 36-year-old grown ass man with a 401k.
I hope this exercise has been an accurate illustration of the spark seeing a foam finger can provide. If you’re over at a buddy’s house and you see a foam finger, what’s your instinct? Grab it and put it on! That’s our collective historical conscience telling us we need to go back to the glory days of foam fingers. I, for one, am tired of ignoring it. Yes, that means SoBros Network foam fingers coming soon to SoBros Shop! Wait, I actually don’t know if that’s possible – I’m getting carried away. Maybe I should walk that one back.
Check out the Forgotten Treasures of Americana archives right here on SoBros Network – past posts include topics such as playing outside, quicksand, the citizen’s arrest, the midnight snack, those hammocks in Centennial Park here in Nashville, Casey Kasem, Slamball, and of course, that one rumor that Marilyn Manson removed a rib so he could suck his own dick.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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