Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question:
@SoBrosNetwork For Mailbag 245: Now that the Titans drafted Will Levis, I have a content idea for you. Create a YouTube video of you consuming coffee with Mayo (or even a Mayo Latte—directions on Youtube), or, better yet, Mayo mixed with Bud Light.
— Armchair Prudence (@armchairprudent) April 30, 2023
Answer:
I absolutely am going to do the mayo in coffee bit because I opened my big dumb mouth and said there was no way the Titans would draft Levis. Y’all are just going to have to give me some time to face that. I have never in my life heard of a mayo latte, but it sounds like a surefire way to make my wife mad at me for putting mayo in our frother. They mayo and Bud Light thing…man, I don’t know about that one!
Question, from Rova Toy Hunter on Instagram:
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Dart Plagueis the Wise?
Answer:
I had to Google this, and I’m still not sure I understand anything about a tragedy, Rova. Something about a Sith Lord? I don’t know – you might have to enlighten me on this one. I love a good tragedy.
Question:
How did you get the name Stoney Keeley?
— GrizzWizz ⚔️ (@GrizzWizz24) May 4, 2023
Answer:
Believe it or not, that’s actually my legit name…first and last! So, I got it because that’s what my parents named me! The story, as I recall it, is that if I was a boy, my dad got to name me. If I was a girl, my mom would get to name me. I’m named after my Uncle Tony, who introduced my mom and dad way back all those years ago. But, my dad had to have something different. That’s just the type of man that he was. I don’t remember where he heard the name ‘Stoney’ – he told me at one point before he passed, but I can’t for the life of me remember. But, it checked all of the boxes, so here I am!
Question:
How hyped will Titans Twitter get on Colton Dowell by the time preseason starts? On a scale between future pro-bowler and ring of honour retiree.
— quag (@quagliero) May 4, 2023
Answer:
I still haven’t dug into the Colton Dowell tape. I ended up taking a week to just kind of chill and get my bearings back underneath me. I was sleeping three hours a night those past couple of weeks leading up to the draft and spent 11 hours and 21 minutes on live streams during it. So, I thought I’d earned the opportunity to slow down a bit. But, I can tell you on the surface, from the Relative Athletic Score, the size, and the reported skill set, this is a guy that this coaching staff is really going to get behind. He seems like the type of prospect that is exactly what the Titans receiving corps needs. Of course, it helps that he attended the best high school in all of middle Tennessee (Wilson Central, other notable alums include myself and Brandon Vick). He’s a hometown kid, so this fan base is naturally going to gravitate towards him, and if he starts putting some highlights together on the practice field this summer, he’s going to have this fan base calling for the gold jacket before the season even starts.
Question:
We partying this Sunday at No Quarter?
— Eric Crowder (@RealEricCrowder) May 4, 2023
Answer:
I’m not going to be there, Eric. We’re hosting a yard sale tomorrow, and then Sunday is going to be the first day since the beginning of March that neither my wife or me have something work-related to do. That’s going to be an “us” day as I’ve basically been ignoring her for the last month to get my draft coverage wrapped up. But, I do want to shout out No Quarter, wish that crew the best of luck on Sunday at Block Party Beatdown II. If you’re out east and lookin’ for something fun to do on Sunday, check ’em out.
Question:
Do you believe in ghosts? Follow up, if so are you a'scared of them?
— Lowry (@ImMikeLowry) May 5, 2023
Answer:
Let’s get fuckin’ weird here, Mike. I love the question. I love the energy. Yes, I believe in ghosts, but I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable scientific metaphysical explanation for them that we don’t understand yet because our brains have not advanced to the point of comprehending that just yet. I know. That’s a lot to sink in. In other words, I’m not quite sure they’re really our dead ancestors as we think them to be…maybe they’re more inter-dimensional travelers or something like it. People talk about ‘energy’ when it comes to “ghosts,” and that’s kind of how my body responds to a presence. I’ve experienced times when I’ve felt like I wasn’t alone, but I didn’t feel particularly threatened, so I just shrug it off. I’ve also experienced times when the hair on the back of my neck has stood up, and I’ve felt a bottomless pit in my stomach like I don’t know what’s about to happen (midnight ghost tours in Savannah, Georgia brother LFG). I don’t know how the fuck to explain that, bud. But, it damn sure seems like I have whatever magnet draws them in. Or, I’m like an amplifier on a ley line or something.
Question:
Is the event of going to the theater dying?
— Tres Winn (@TresWinn) May 4, 2023
Answer:
Tres, my gut reaction was “no, I still love going to the theater” because it’s an experience that just simply cannot be replaced. ‘Event’ is the right word for it – my wife and I look forward to dinner and a movie all the time. The most basic date night ever, but we love it. The popcorn, the big screen, all of it. I think there are still plenty of people that enjoy that experience, but honestly, with streaming services making it much easier and cheaper for families to just stay home, I do wonder about the longevity of it all. Like, when these kids grow up to have families of their own, will it be something they exert the time and effort to keep alive? I don’t know. I don’t think the experience is going away any time soon the way some do, but I could see it dying a slow death over the next few decades. We’ll look up in a few generations and people will be saying “do you guys remember theaters?” the same way we now say “do you remember indoor shopping malls?”
Question:
How many drinks does it take before you become drunk to the point you question your life choices in the morning?
— Eldon English (@shrike113) May 5, 2023
Answer:
It used to be quite a bit, but I’m finding that it takes a lot less these days. 4-6 G&Ts on a Friday night is that sweet spot. I can’t throw ’em back like I used to. If I have five cocktails on the weekend, there’s a 50/50 shot I feel fine the next morning or I don’t want to get out of bed all day. I’m finally understanding what the elders meant when they said those hangovers hit harder the older you get. Back in the day, I’d say that number was around 12 drinks.
Question:
Worst beer you've ever had?
— ginger-gitaxias (@ohmfacekiller) May 5, 2023
Best beer for a bad day?
Mustard or ketchup?
Zeppelin or floyd?
Answer:
- Oh man – I hate to put a local company on blast, but Music City Light is awful. It’s like water. One time, I was sitting in a bar when one of their reps came in to try and sell it (people buy that shit like crazy). The bartender handed me a glass of it to ask what I thought of it, and my reply was “I believe that beer will actually sober you up.”
- I like something rich and heavy after a tough day because it forces you to drink it slowly. You get that time to unwind, decompress, and contemplate your feelings. I’ll pop open a double IPA or a rich Oktoberfest if they’re in season and just sit and stare at the sky from my back deck after a day like that.
- Depends on the dish, but I’m almost always leaning mustard. I really only eat ketchup with fries now that I stop to think about it.
- Floyd all day – I never got into Zeppelin real big, but I went through a spell with Pink Floyd during the summer of 2007. All of my friends were trying out hard drugs at the time, and I was just watching because I was terrified that someone was going to pull their own eyeball out. But, I’ll never forget listening to ‘Learning To Fly’ for the first time around a campfire under the bright stars and the wide open night sky out in the country.
Question:
When are you making the T shirts that say "Roll the dice, play the board"
— Karim Labib (@KLiba92) May 5, 2023
Answer:
They should be in the SoBros Shop in a couple of weeks, Karim. *eyeball emoji*
Question and answer:
What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck
— Stoney Keeley (@StoneyKeeley) May 5, 2023
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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