The SoBros Mailbag 276: Drake’s Hog and Titans Draft Talk

Gather 'round. This week's SoBros Mailbag is here.

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Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…

Question:

Answer:

I think your second question is much easier to answer there, Ed. Quite simply, governing bodies, in all facets of life it would seem, just move slowly. I can’t even remember the last time there were legitimate rumblings about expansion in MLB. The short answer is, “there has to be an open spot to fill, and there hasn’t been one in a long time.” But, even once the gears start turning, there’s so much to sort out that it takes forever to push it all through. I’m still kind of iffy on whether or not Nashville has grown to a point that it can sustain four professional sports franchises, so I won’t be surprised if it’s passed up on this next round of expansion. Eventually, it’ll all get there though.

Question:

Answer:

I think they’re actually fairly decent, Robby. I wouldn’t be surprised if Brock Bowers was the pick. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were able to grab the best cornerback in the draft at that spot either. More than likely, I’d say OT or WR. But, the overarching idea here is that the Titans need help at so many spots on this roster that they really can’t go wrong anywhere. People get hung up on the idea that it has to be Joe Alt or Olu Fashanu, but there are capable left tackles that should be available on Day 2. People get hung up on Rome Odunze or Malik Nabers, but there are capable wide receivers that should be available on Day 3. The bottom line is that they need horses right now. There’s a good chance they have the opportunity to draft a real blue chip player at 7th overall, and if they can, they should do it regardless of what position it is (except for quarterback).

Question:

Answer:

10/10, Grizzler. A perfect cat.

Question, from E on Instagram:

What is the most perfect southern hip hop classic?

Answer:

To me, it is and always will be “Back That Ass Up.” To this day, I can hear that song and immediately feel adrenaline rush throughout my body as I run towards the nearest dance floor. Is there another song that southerners can just hear the opening note to and get this feeling? I don’t think so.

Question, from Ted on Instagram:

Thoughts on Drake’s big ol’ fuckin’ hog

Answer:

Thanks, Ted. I’ve been dying to talk about this actually. I think there’s something about it that just looks unnatural. The way he was slinging it around…it just didn’t physically behave like a hog in that state should. It was just a little too flimsy. I understand that it probably takes a lot of blood to pump through that thing to get it going, but it looked like….two different elasticities. Like the bottom half was full chub and the top half was wet noodle. I’m not saying it’s fake as in AI generated that video. I’m saying I think he might’ve had the mythical penis filler surgery to pipe some extra meat in that thing. It was almost like it only got hard up to a certain point and then it was just free flowing string. No disrespect intended, of course.

Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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