I am looking for some cicada action. These creatures come out every few years, and all they seem to do is get in the way. I firmly believe, regardless of what science says, that the cicada’s sole purpose in its existence is to disrupt my summertime experience. Now, I’ll say this…this batch that’s out there right now doesn’t seem so hell bent on crashing into my face every time I leave the house. That’s been a bit surprising. I’ve been driving around town with my windows down, and I’ve been out mowing the lawn, and still haven’t been hit by one. Maybe they can sense the vibes and know I’m looking to deck one. “We gotta avoid this guy or else…” I like to think that’s the case.
This cycle, they are bringing some new tricks to the game with them, though. This story from WSMV highlights something I’d never heard of before called “cicada rain.” It’s bad enough that they’re out there buzzing around, a constant threat to smack you in the dome. Now, we learn that they’re actually Olympic-caliber pee-ers? They can squirt that stuff all over the place. You mean to tell me that I need protection from cicada piss the next time I go play disc golf through the woods? That story highlights a phenomenon
What we haven’t had in physical contact so far, the cicadas have more than made up for it in sound. It is a symphony of pain out there. We’re out in Mount Juliet where there’s a little more room to breathe, and man, it’s so fucking loud out here. It’s just a constant droning. You can look up and see them buzzing around the trees, probably waiting for someone to piss on. But, they’re just yelling. For no reason! There is no reason to be so loud that it physically hurts my ears. I wish someone would tell them to calm down. At least they shut it down at night, but damn, I’d like to enjoy a beer and a cigar in my driveway in peace. I hate these things. I don’t want to say anything too extreme, but these cicadas make me completely understand how stressful situations escalate to violence.
Anyway…head on a swivel out there, folks. Don’t miss your opportunity to punch a cicada this summer – it gets a little more quiet with each one that hits the ground. They even got new Tennessee Titan Calvin Ridley at his wit’s end:
Theses bugs in Nashville attacking people
— CALVIN RIDLEY (@CalvinRidley1) May 19, 2024
Photo courtesy of Bill Nino on Unsplash!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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