Reliving Anthony Bourdain’s Ode to Waffle House

Reliving Anthony Bourdain's ode to Waffle House.

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I’m not entirely sure why this clip is going viral, but it is. Someone said it was the anniversary of this poem broadcasting the airwaves from CNN, but IMDB says the episode was released in November…which serves as a reminder that nothing on Twitter is real, and you always have to fact check shit like this. Nonetheless, it came across my feed at just the right time. On last week’s episode of The SoBros Power Hour, Ryan and I got to chattin’ about the good old days – Mount Juliet, Tennessee in the late 90s and early 2000s on to the early 2010s. A key location during that time was the Waffle House.

Hell, before Providence opened up out there, the Waffle House was one of five dining establishments at Mount Juliet’s exit off of I-40. The others were Cracker Barrel, McDonald’s, Arby’s (for some reason), and Captain D’s (for some reason). I have many a fond memory at that Waffle House. Before we started going out out, we congregated at the Waffle House on Friday nights. There would be times we’d be rolling 12 deep into that place. Afterwards, we’d head back to my place to keep the good times rolling. Later in life, when we all started drinking, the late night trips to Waffle House would take on a different meaning. Nonetheless, it’s been a central figure in my growth as a human on Earth. I am among the many here in the south who have an affinity for Waffle House, so I was always stoked to hear someone like Bourdain appreciate it as well.

“Marvelous” – yes, that’s all that is required to adequately describe Waffle House, but it doesn’t really set the spirit of Waffle House ablaze the way that Bourdain’s words that follow it do. I think that’s the beauty of Waffle House. It’s a place that you can say simply one word to someone and they can immediately feel a wealth of emotions thinking about it. It’s also a place that you can write fine poetry about.

“Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts” – technically, he’s right. I don’t think you hurt until you get home and make it to the bathroom. There were also plenty of times I was at a Waffle House and could literally feel no pain because I was three sheets to the wind. Honestly, I think Waffle House can immediately cure a hangover.

“A place of safety” – There were a lot of people taking issue with this statement, but I have never in my life seen anything pop off inside of a Waffle House. Here in Mount Juliet, people always took the rowdy action out to the parking lot. It’s why you always parked away from the front door. Not to mention, I believe most Waffle House employees are qualified S.W.A.T. team members capable of handling any conflict successfully.

“Always there for you” – I’ve never felt they weren’t. They’re always open. They’ll never leave me. What a beautiful everlasting love.

Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.

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