Welcome all degenerate gamblers back into our weekly American football betting column here on the SoBros Network Patreon, Tank the 401k. Call your bookie and empty those retirement accounts (actually, don’t really do that – this is just sarcasm. Our lawyers say we shouldn’t claim to be experts on anything because we’re not)! Each week, the SoBros team up to offer their five locks of the week – obviously, we’re not professionals here so take this advice with a grain of salt and don’t sue us if you piss all of your money away. That’s not our fault. Okay, I think we’re all set here – here are this week’s SoBros gambling picks.
Stoney’s Picks
I told you guys last week that I hated the board – you’ve got to start reading that if you’re going to ride this column! I only placed a few small bets last week, but if McCash and I don’t come up with five picks for this column, we have no column! I felt handcuffed, and I’m telling you guys now, my success rate when I’m saying “ehhhhhh, I don’t really know about this week’s board” is NOT GOOD. That said, there’s only one option here on Tank the 401k – we bet through the bad weeks. I do think there are a couple of little gems to be had on this week’s board. I actually whittled this one down from 10 games! So, let’s see if we can’t correct course here.
- 49ers -6.5 – This team looked damn near impeccable on Monday night. They’re so talented. The offense was executed perfectly. The defense was swarming. I’m placing my Super Bowl bet now. This number could be -10.5 and I’d take it over the Vikings.
- Commanders -1.5 – Man, it looks like it could be a long season for the Giants. That Vikings game was rough to watch. I’ve had this take about Washington that’s been brewing for a couple of months now. I feel gross, but I actually like their roster. Jayden Daniels could be the difference in this one.
- Steelers -2.5 – I’m a believer in Bo Nix sorting it out on down the line, but I love this Steelers defense, and it travels. I’m not trusting Nix to get it sorted out this week. Could it be a different matchup in Week 16? Sure. But, it’s Week 2.
- Vandy @ Georgia State, OVER 43.5 – This number seems way low given the hot start Vanderbilt has gotten off to on offense, averaging 44.5 points per game. Georgia State has struggled to score on Georgia Tech and they barely beat UT-Chattanooga. Could this be a 35-10 type of game? Absolutely. Could it also be a 44-0 game? Sure. I like this over.
- East Carolina +2.5 vs. App State – It hasn’t looked particularly easy for either of these teams so far this season, so the under may be the safer play here. But, I like the gritty 2-0 that East Carolina has gotten out to. Shavon Revel could be a first round pick next spring. I like the way this team is playing defense. At home, catching a deflated App State, I think a late score puts them ahead by three.
McCash’s Picks
- Arizona St./Texas St. OVER 60.5 -The battle between these two party schools will be electric. QB Jordan McCloud for Texas St. will have the Sun Devils defense running after him like a freshly tapped keg at a frat party while Arizona St. running back Cam Skattebo looks to turn one more on after his 262 yard performance against Mississippi St. last week.
- Alabama -16.5 Bama are huge road favorites in this one and the Kalen DeBoer era is off to a hot start. This is the first of 4 tough road games for the Tide and Bama should have no problem covering the three score line.
- Missouri -16.5 The Tigers host a BC team that is riding the waves of their victory over a down Florida State team. The Eagles get a taste of SEC play this week and will find out quickly that their hype is not warranted.
- Notre Dame -10 Yes, we all know by now about NIU shocking the world. Don’t for a second think Notre Dame is just going to give up on their season. The Irish bounce back with a convincing win Saturday.
- Ole Miss -22.5 It’s another top level SEC team taking on a lower ACC team. Need I say more? Hotty Toddy!!!
SEASON STATS
- McCash last week: (3-2)
- McCash’s 2024 W-L: (8-6) – 57.1%
- Stoney last week: (1-4)
- Stoney’s 2024 W-L: (5-5) – 50%
- SoBros last week: (4-6)
- SoBros 2024 W-L: (13-11) – 54.2%
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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