We have a bit of important breaking news to dissect this morning. Apparently, some people have been complaining about the bathrooms at Rock City Gardens online and the Chattanooga area institution has listened. They have indeed updated the bathrooms to something with a more sleek and modern touch. In a statement released on Instagram last week, Rock City Gardens says:
You asked and we delivered 👀 ✨ NEW BATHROOMS ✨
Looking good… if we do say so ourselves. Almost as good as the view 😉
The post on which this text serves as the caption also includes a nice montage of the new bathroom activities, including someone washing their hands. And, I can certainly say they look like modern bathrooms. They even have those faucets where you don’t have to turn a knob in order to turn them on. They look like bathrooms you’d find in some trendy bar in downtown Nashville. I’m impressed.
I never knew this was a selling point in attending the park. I mean, who am I to judge, of course? But, I’ve never gone somewhere and felt so disgusted by a bathroom that I’d whine online about it. Hell, I went to the bathroom at Kuwohi and didn’t complain about it. That’s literally just a wooden box with a hole underneath it – no plumbing! I opened the door to that thing and the smell of a thousand rotten eggs hit my face. I looked down and there was a mound of human feces that had to have weighed a hundred pounds. Even then, I didn’t complain. Did I laugh because I’m an immature child? Sure. But, I pissed all over that mound of doo doo and went on about my business. Anyway, I guess this whole thing is news for someone and if it means more people go to Rock City Gardens, good for them.
Editor’s Note: Yes, you’re going to have to click the link and go to the Instagram post to see the bathrooms because every time I embed an Instagram post on this site, it inevitably disappears in two years and then dings our SEO when the post won’t load in the article anymore. FYI.
This post delivered with plenty of tongue in cheek sentiment – I love Rock City whether they have the nicest bathrooms on the planet or they ask us to shit in a hole in the ground.
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, second on Football & Other F Words, analyst for Stacking The Inbox, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, the NFL Draft, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley.
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