Let’s face it – every day we are routinely bombarded with questions. When you’re an emerging media company in Nashville, people just want to know what your opinions are on everything. It’s only natural. And, since our duty is to serve the people, well, we have no choice but to be present. That’s the SoBro Way. Also, aren’t mailbags just a barrel of laughs anyway? Welcome to the newest weekly recurring feature up in this bitch: The SoBros Mailbag. As always, hit us with those mailbag questions @SoBrosNetwork on Twitter, email ’em to me anonymously at thesobrosnetwork@gmail.com. And, holy shit, I need to update this terrible intro paragraph that I’ve been using literally ever since I started writing this column…
Question, from Dom via text message:
Top three dad phrases
Answer:
I’ll tell ya, Dom – I’m guilty of three on a regular basis. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up the bill at a restaurant and said, “what’s the damage?” I know a lot of folks meme about the “they let anyone in here” phrase, but I kind of put my own spin on that same sort of sentiment. If I see someone I haven’t run into in a long time, I’ll hit ’em with a hearty “hey, stranger!” Then, give ’em a good firm handshake and a bear hug. Finally, I catch myself rolling my eyes at myself sometimes when someone asks me how I’m doing, and I reply with “another day in paradise.“
Also, I don’t know if this is a widely accepted dad phrase or not, but one I picked up on from my dad was “can’t complain, and if I could, it wouldn’t do me any good” when asked how he was doing one day. That one always stuck with me for some reason.
Question, from Tyler on Facebook:
How creepy is Willy Wonka?
Answer:
Man, there’s a lot of shit from those movies that we just turn a blind eye too. Like, it’s unsettling how creepy that motherfucker actually is. What’s the end game for Willy Wonka? What’s he trying to accomplish with all this shit? Society, as a whole, has been way too willing to look the other way when it comes to this fuck.
Question:
You have to recruit a baseball team from fictional movie baseball players. Who is your first pick?
— brett the despondent cubs fan (@thebrettclark) August 13, 2021
Answer:
Gotta be Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez for me – that kid grew up to be a pure thoroughbred…the type of player you can build around.
Question:
What is your boldest NFL prediction? Gimme a hot take here pic.twitter.com/UBNLI7W152
— Patrick Criswell (@PatCrizzy) August 13, 2021
Answer:
Let’s see here – I plan on writing a full column with season predictions in it, but I’ll go ahead and share the ones I’ve been marinating on for weeks now.
- Zaven Collins: Defensive Rookie of the Year – loved the pick for Arizona, and even wrote at the time that we might look back on him as the best defensive player to come out of this draft.
- Bear with me on this one….remember, you asked for my hottest of hot takes….so here it is….the NFC East will get THREE TEAMS into the playoffs. Dallas is back and healthy with one of the best offenses in football, Washington will have the best defense in football, and the New York Giants sneak into that 7th slot with a stout defense and a healthy Saquon Barkley on offense. It’ll go from one of the worst divisions in football to one of the best.
How is that for steaming, piping hot?
Question, from Jason, whose tweets are protected, so I can’t embed it on the site:
What’s your worst accidental tweet?
Answer:
Believe it or not (based on some of the things that I tweet), I am actually incredibly painstakingly meticulous about my feed and the main SoBros Network feeds. I honestly can’t remember a time that I had a bad accidental tweet. There have been times that I’ve accidentally posted half a sentence, and I’ll immediately take that down and correct it. But, I’ve never accidentally posted something that has been embarrassing or anything like. But, I will share a story about how I punked myself out once.
I always shut down operations for SoBros Network a few days before Christmas, and I take a pretty hard break until the new year. Well, I logged in this past Christmas Eve and saw a tweet from my account that said ‘my diabolical plans have been put on hold….for Christmas.‘
I thought I had been hacked. What a weird thing to tweet, right? So, I investigated a bit, couldn’t find any weird remote logins or anything like that. I changed my password just to be safe, and then I deleted this strange tweet.
Later on in the day, I remembered that I got really drunk one night alone, watching The Office, heard that line from the show, and thought “heh – that’d be a really funny tweet for me to close down the year with…” So, I queued it up in Tweetdeck, and completely forgot about it.
Question, from E on Instagram:
If you could coordinate an entire look centered around one Yankee Candle scent, what would be the vibe/the fit?
Answer:
So, I’m going to spoil the #1 on my upcoming list of the top ONE HUNDRED Yankee Candle fragrances ever by answering this question, but it’s 100% Autumn Woods. I love the vibes on that candle, and I’m talkin’ the old school one (like this one that’s listed for $45 on eBay), not the fresh new label, but the CLASSIC Yankee style. That’s what I’m all about when I actually put a ‘fit together. I like the classic look. I am a classic man.
So, in this instance, I’m going orange (preferably the shade of the leaves) and green (preferably the shade of the wax) flannel, tucked into deep khakis…I’m talkin’ a real rich color, not the pale business casual khaki shit, brown belt with gold accents, and a brown leather watch with a gold face. We Autumn up in this bitch.
Keep the questions coming – catch y’all next week!
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network, and a Dogs Playing Poker on velvet connoisseur. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD, #BeBetter, and ‘Minds right, asses tight.’ “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, Yankee Candle, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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