In our never ending quest to provide all of our readers with relatable, ‘slice of life’ style content, we here at the SoBros Network feel the time to weigh in on social commentary has officially come. It’s once again time for me, Big Natural, to open up the leather-bound parchment pages of the annals of history. Put on your plush robe, light your pipe, start a fire, and get ready for deep contemplation. This is the as-often-as-I-remember-to-write-it column: Forgotten Treasures of Americana. Today, we are going to be reliving the insanity that was the 2004 Quiznos commercial featuring those rat bird lookin’ things.
Guys, I love these random blasts from the past – this old commercial for Quiznos Subs popped up on my Twitter feed not too long ago and it reminded me of how much I loved this shit back in the day. Take a look if you don’t remember it:
Shout out to Quiznos for being Old Spice before Old Spice was Old Spice. Do y’all remember how confused the general public was way back when this thing came out? It was like the entire world stopped when this thing took the air. Everyone was talking about it – “what the fuck was that?” But no matter where we were, we remembered it. And, we were talking about Quiznos.
Props to whoever thought of that idea – like, “let’s put hair on turds, put googly eyes on ’em, and have ’em sound like nails on a chalkboard, and people will BUY QUIZNOS.” That’s a kind of vision that no mere mortal has. And, I dare say….that song is kinda catchy. They should get Adele to cut that shit and it’ll win a Grammy.
Who would’ve thought that Quiznos was such a marketing visionary back in 2004?
FORGOTTEN TREASURES OF AMERICANA ARCHIVES
3D Doritos
3OH!3
AIM
American Gladiators
The Basilisk
The Bermuda Triangle
Braided Belts
Citizen’s Arrest
Hammocks In Centennial Park
Hasbro WWF Action Figures
Homework
Mama’s Family
Micro Machines
Muppet Treasure Island
Playing Outside
Quicksand
Slamball
Surge
That Marilyn Manson rumor…
The Super Soaker 50
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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