In our never ending quest to provide all of our readers with relatable, ‘slice of life’ style content, we here at the SoBros Network feel the time to weigh in on social commentary has officially come. It’s once again time for me, Big Natural, to open up the leather-bound parchment pages of the annals of history. Put on your plush robe, light your pipe, start a fire, and get ready for deep contemplation. This is the as-often-as-I-remember-to-write-it column: Forgotten Treasures of Americana. Today, we are going to be reliving the excitement brought about by vintage toy, Micro Machines.
It’s the holidays, and folks – it just has me thinking about the excitement of being a kid on Christmas. I don’t want to sound like a pompous ass, but my parents always took good care of me on Christmas, and one of their real strong suits was the stocking game. I would always have a stocking stuffed to the brim with toys and candy, and it became one of my favorite parts of the holiday. Thinking on down the line of all-time great stocking stuffers, and I arrive at ‘Micro Machines’ rather quickly.
Micro Machines absolutely ruled – I didn’t even like cars all that much growing up. But, you could’ve made a miniature anything and I would’ve been game. They first dropped back in the mid 1980s, but saw their heyday into the 1990s – prime for a young Stoney.
I loved collecting all of the cars – if I’m not mistaken, they even made some of the famous monster trucks of the era, too. But, on those big holidays, you might luck out and get one of those badass playsets like the van playset pictured above (hot take: gotta be one of the most underrated iconic toys of the era) or the gas station in my case. I loved it – it felt like I could build my own little world.
Then, the Star Wars Micro Machines dropped and it was a total game changer. All of the iconic vehicles of the Star Wars universe were now made available at miniature scale, with some tiny figgies and awesome playsets to go with ’em. That line is probably one of my all-time favorite toy lines now that I stop and think about it.
Apparently there were GI Joe Micro Machines too…I never saw those, but as a huge GI Joe kid growing up, there’s no doubt I would’ve sold my soul to get the full line. So, maybe it’s a good thing that I never knew they existed.
Micro Machines has actually been revived twice since the 90s. They made some new ones whenever Star Wars: The Force Awakens dropped, but that run didn’t go beyond that film’s release. Then, in August of this year, they announced that Micro Machines would be making a comeback and should be on shelves this fall. This is one return I can definitely get behind – just…y’know….make sure your kids ain’t chokin’ on the damn things. They call ’em “micro” for a reason.
Finally, the last thing I’d like to bring up is that if you think stepping on a Lego is bad, you should try stepping on a Micro Machine. Thanks and good day.
FORGOTTEN TREASURES OF AMERICANA ARCHIVES
3D Doritos
3OH!3
AIM
American Gladiators
The Basilisk
The Bermuda Triangle
Braided Belts
Citizen’s Arrest
Hammocks In Centennial Park
Hasbro WWF Action Figures
Homework
Mama’s Family
Muppet Treasure Island
Playing Outside
Quicksand
Slamball
Surge
That Marilyn Manson rumor…
The Super Soaker 50
Stoney Keeley is the Editor in Chief of The SoBros Network. He is a strong supporter of Team GSD and #BeBetter. “Big Natural” covers the Tennessee Titans, Nashville, and a whole wealth of nonsense. Follow on Twitter @StoneyKeeley
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